72 Hours
Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 10:07AM It is Saturday morning, and I am back from France, sipping coffee in the garden and reading the LA Times as the sun rises. It's been a whirlwind and adventurous 72 hours, to say the least. I'm one of those guys who doesn't know when to quit something and move on ("Keep pushing... always" can be a curse). Suffice to say that my days covering the Tour de France are finally, blessedly over.
Flew out Wednesday from LAX, enjoying a delightful flight on Air Canada (an underrated gem of an airline) to Paris, via Montreal. I am a map guy, with a great map of the world on my office wall, a box of national maps next to my desk, and proud owner of at least three very detailed maps of France. However, you always forget one thing when you go off on a trip, and this time I forgot my map of France. My old friend Gerard Fusil likes to quote the saying that "a journey is not an adventure until something goes wrong," and so I, somewhat perversely, took my lack of a map as a good sign. When the pretty young blonde at the Hertz counter added to my adventure by blithely informing me she had no maps, I purchased a Rough Guide map of France at a Charles de Gaulle kiosk and set off for Vittel to join the Tour.
One hour and two loops of the northern Paris freeway system later, I was passing the Asterix amusement park and driving through Charles de Gaulle all over again. I was not lost. It was just that I had yet to find my way. Suffice to say that I will not be purchasing another Rough Guide map any time in the near future.
But I knew Vittel was east, so when the myriad loops of the autoroute confounded me to the point of exasperation, I did the only thing I knew possible: I followed the rising sun. Aiming my rented Kia (a surprisingly sprite little four-door hatchback, pushing well past a hundred miles an hour without so much as a shimmy) east, I was reward with the 104, then the A4, and then signs for Metz and Nancy, whereupon my Rough Guide told me it was just a hop, skip and a jump to the spa town of Vittel.
Northern France is not a spectacular drive, particularly after sixteen hours of air travel and very little sleep. But throughout my 250-mile drive I was blessed with spectacular views of the Champagne region, with its rolling hills and golden fields of grain. I passed signs for the battlefields of World War I, and wondered how such horrendous carnage could have been inflicted on such a riot of trees and quiet rivers and farmland. I noted the signs for the Argonne Forest, and realized I know very little about that particular battle, all the while wondering if it was actually fought in the forest (were there trenches? was it hand-to-hand fighting? the primeval forest didn't seem the sort of place where mortar shells and barbed wire came into play). Even as I passed through, I resolved to learn more.
Then I was passing through Metz, where Patton saved the day in World War II and my wife and I spent a sublime night during the 2005 Tour (you won't find mention of it in my book, but Calene was there for several stages). And on to Nancy, then a quick jaunt off the autoroute into Vittel. Only then did all the familiar sites of the Tour come into focus: spectators picnicking on the grassy roadside, signs exhorting the riders, the gendarmes in their light blue shirts and starched cotton caps. I had brought an old credential to eaze my way into town, so when I came upon the roadblocks barring traffic, a quick flash of the press badge saw the gendarmes ushering me onto the course. Their gestures were happy, profuse; telling me that these were local police working the Tour for just a day, and not the more grim members of the national police who travel the entire route.
Then I was in town, the route twisting and turning down the narrow streets. I drove through the barricades, onto the final two kilometers of the course. It was three hours before the stage finish and the crowds were just starting to arrive, but the feel of a carnival filled the air. More roadblocks, and more quick flashes of the 2007 credential (followed by a certainty in my voice as I declared that I was a journalist), and soon I was all the way in, parking the Kia in a sunbaked parking lot at the finish line. It was all so familiar, like a place I'd visited a thousand times before. Navigating past the TV trucks, the sound of the race announcer ringing in my ears, I followed the signs through a thick forest to the press area. Now it was just a quick visit to the accreditation center to pick up my credential, and I was good to go.
Like I said, a journey doesn't become an adventure until something goes wrong. My first sign that things were going very wrong was when the functionary issuing credentials politely asked me to take a seat while she made a quick phone call. Next thing I knew, press director Matthieu (see Chasing Lance for a character description), appeared. He looked flustered, tentative. What followed was a rather surreal thirty minutes. It seems that I've written a series of damning criticisms of the Tour leadership over the years. The criticisms have not gone unnoticed ( who knew they read my stuff?). Matthieu pointed to several stories (the word "minions" seems to have an unsettling and very pre-1789 effect on the French proletariat), then declared that I was a "bad guy" and "not a journalist." I reminded Matthieu that we have worked six Tours together, that he has never seen me have cross words with another journalist or with his staff, and that I am the sort who spends literally hours crafting my 3,000 words a day of Tour coverage.
So we came to a meeting of the minds: I could have a credential, but just for one day.
I walked into the pressroom feeling confused. A look at the long rows of cloth-covered tables and the flat screens showing the race in progress did not depict the feelings of hail fellow well met that I'd expected. Instead, I looked around that cavernous gymnasium and remembered being in similar Tour press rooms so many times since 1999. A feeling of weariness, perhaps brought on by my long travels and the strange discussion with Matthieu, enveloped me as I sat down and opened my laptop. I posted a few hundred words, but I abhore being misunderstood, and could not shake the growing rage that I was somehow being censored. My one-day credential, I was sure, was a test. If I wrote nice things about the Tour I would be granted another, and another, on a day-to-day basis until the race reached Paris. And that I did not want to do.
Without posting my missive, I closed my laptop and slipped it in my pack. Taking a last look around the press room, I actually felt relieved. The Tour has not been part of my career planning for some time, but I have clung to it out of nostalgia and a fascination for its drama and human courage. But I can get all that from watching on TV at home. The reason I come back year after year has little to do with that aspect of the Tour, and much more to do with traveling through France, experiencing the small towns and history.
So I left.
I drove a hundred miles to the village of Chaumont, where I walked the streets, past the cathedrals and ramparts, breathing in the history. I stopped to read and have a cold beer at a small cafe, then walked some more. I ate dinner at a small, eccentric bistro where a somewhat crazed woman and her teenaged son pampered their only guest. Dinner was salad and tough peppered lamb, served with Bourdeaux. Then I wandered back to my railway hotel, fell into bed for the first hours of honest sleep I'd had in 36 hours, and woke at 3 a.m. to a pouring rain.
My career has featured two prominent safety nets. First it was the Raid Gauloises. Then it was the Tour. They are parallel paths that have boosted me and honed my skills. But sooner or later it comes time to leave safety and push on to a new level. I stayed on a year too long at the Raid. Now it was clear that I had done the same at the Tour. When you want to make God laugh, goes the saying, tell Him your plans. Well, I'm quite sure God was having a good chuckle that night.
I lay there in the darkness, listening to the water pattering on the window, and decided that rather than drive down to Rome and catch Springsteen over the weekend (my first thought after leaving the Tour), that I'd be much rather just fly home. A feeling of happiness and relief washed over me, and suddenly the hopes and dreams for the fall and winter of 2009 that had been hidden by my desperate desire to get to the Tour, made themselves plain. It was a moment of closure. I was glad for it. France will always be there for me. I don't need a bike race to justify the wandering and discovery.
A mad dash to Paris. Found the airport with no problem. Turned in the car (leaving that feeble map in the glove box as a gift from myself to Hertz), changed my flight, and settled into the Air Canada lounge. There I had my first Camembert of the 2009 Tour, which is the one thing I've always savored most about the journey. It seemed a fitting way to leave it all behind. So much so that I had another slice.
A journey is not an adventure until something goes wrong. It's been an amazing 72 hours and I am glad to be back home. My oldest son arrived home yesterday from his summer cruise -- his own adventure. It was so good to wrap my arms around him, and revel in the impromptu homecoming celebration between him and his friends. It was the best part of my trip.
I crave the adventures, and will not forget this impromptu departure from the Tour. But when it's time to play on a bigger stage, it's time.
Keep pushing.... always.
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Reader Comments (30)
To Mr. Matthieu,
You are a bit of an i.d.i.o.t. (french pronunciation). Dugard is a brilliant
writer who has done incredible work throughout the last 10 year promoting the tour in the US and around the world. It is a great loss to your race to lose his humor and insight that has actually helped the race right itself after all its wrongs.
OC
I don't know what to say....I'm stunned at this turn of events, feeling a bit let down as I did earlier today when at first it looked like Lance screwed his old buddy, George. I'm still not really sure what happened there. I'll miss your up close and personal postings Marty, but it sounds like you made the right call, and the feeling of relief you got when you decided to go home just confirmed that. What drama at TDF this year!
Marty, thanks for your years of tour coverage. I will miss the glimpses of France, the Tour and the characters that make up the journey: cyclists, policeman, co-drivers / navigators et al. I think it is sad that the tour organisers can not tolerate words unless they are 100% supportive but that is the world we live in on many levels.
I'll continue to read and enjoy your books and projects. Et maintenant c'est temps pour votre voyage sans TdF, bonne chance...
(with apologies to all on my rudimentary French)
TL
Wow...what a story! I'm so bummed that the Dugard posts will not come in from backstage at the tour. We cycling fans, in the US appreciate the context - whether it is a detailed description of your lunch or team strategy - your writing brings the race a little more alive... So, please call your buddies who are still over in France, and please give us your thoughts on this last week of the race. For as of now we have no real leader, but many greats from which to choose. That said, my heart is pulling for Lance and if he wins, we readers will be a little better off, if you keep writing. Might I suggest you begin with another few ironic words for those whom often forget that the tour does not just belong to the organizers. Especially now that Lance may yet again arrive in Paris wearing the yellow Jersey...Keep pushing and ...Please keep posting.
Hi
What an amazing 72 hours..... You listened to your inner guide and are now back home with your wonderful family!!
I , too, will miss your daily writings and was so excited to have you there finally.. But you are definitely where you belong..Thanks for your wonderful writing,,A true FAN!!
Marty, my favorite parts of your Tour musings were the descriptions of the crazy (& sometimes wayward) car rides, the meals, the hotels and the people. I get my pure cycling fix from the television coverage. You give us the color. I'll be here whatever you're writing about.
Robinwc
Mr. Dugard,
Your Tour blogs in the past have been one of my favorite parts of the Tour - maybe the best thing. Although it is past the point of making a difference as I write this, as you have already returned to the States, it appears that you quit on the Tour. I obviously wasn't there to witness your encounter with the French official (how I hate the French Tour officials) and it seems apparent you were mistreated, I wish you would have stayed regardless and written about the race I love. Your first-hand written accounts will be missed.
You didn't keep pushing. You quit.
Jacob, according to what Marty wrote, if he wrote one wrong word about Le Tour today, he would not get his press creds for tomorrow. He's a journalist, not a lackey. He didn't quit, imo, he was told he couldn't do the work he came to do.
Maryellen,
I don't understand a lot in life, and one of the things I don't understand is the inner workings of the press credentialing (is that a word?) that goes on the Tour. And of course Mr. Dugard has much more experience with that stuff than I do. My post was written more out of frustration with the face I won't get to read Mr. Dugard's wonderful words about this upcoming (hopefully spectacular) week at the Tour than at the man himself.
All that said - I still wish he would have at least stayed a day and tried to see what happened tomorrow.
face=fact
I hear ya Jacob.....
Wow...I don't even know what to say. I will definitely miss your tour postings but it sounds like everything worked out the way it should have.
Lani
To put it bluntly,
Now what do we do?
;-)
So, you crashed, "broke your wrist" & are now out of the Tour. Unlike most of your other readers it seems, I will not slap you on the back. You let your anger & sense of righteousness destroy not just your own adventure but ours. Those who have waited patiently for you to finally GET TO FRANCE & chronicle not just this race but a country, a point in time, an event, a way of viewing the world & ourselves. In the past, you made us BELIEVE the Tour was not just a race. And you throw away the chance to congregate more believers because you had to do a little 'sweet talk'?
Perhaps this is just reflective of a self-employed man as those of us who labor in the corporate world deal with illogical, irrational, & unjust jerks every damn day. You SUCK IT UP & then use your skills to reach your goal ANYWAY, in spite of & sometimes because of the obstacles (be they human or otherwise) in your way.
If YOU, a supreme master of words, could not have figured out a way to achieve your goal AND make those sterling examples of the French 'proletariat' believe you were doing them a favor, then perhaps you have lost something more than a Tour "Golden Ticket".
Just FYI - being "docked 15 seconds" by these people doesn't mean they won't change their minds the very next day. You should have stayed the course.
And the Marty Dugard that *I* admire would get BACK ON A DAMN PLANE & write the hell out of what is surely to be the most intense, crazy-exciting, spine-tingling 3rd week of the Tour in over 20 years. Grab your son & park your asses on Ventoux if you have to. VIVE LE TOUR.
GIVE EM HELL, LANCE.
I'm disappointed, but I still love you. See you in Anguilla.
Marty,
I have missed your posts from the TdF this year. I'm sorry to hear how things worked out once you got there. The best parts were the stories of your adventures while finding your way around France. It reminded me so much of our trip over there in 2004. The insights of the daily drama at the tour was also always amusing. This would have been a great year to have had you over there filling us in. It seems like all those old unspoken, unofficial rules that you used to hear about don't exist this year. Its a sad day when you watch an American Team go out of there way to stop an American rider from wearing yellow. Thanks for all your stories! I look forward to your future postings and books.
Thanks!
Nan
I feel kinda bad for Martin. His heart clearly isn't in covering the Tour from the inside anymore, but he didn't find out until he got there. In the past, if the officials had treated him bad, he might have just worked around it. These seem like strange times right now. The world is going through alot of changes and ourselves included. Martin almost sounds depressed to me. Hope all is well and the future looks up.
You quit...Jacob W. called it as it is...most of us with REAL jobs face this type of adversity on a daily basis...we don't run home to hide...you were obviously going to France for all the wrong reasons, and as soon as an excuse became available, you fled...what a chicken...you are a great example of a typical "soft' American...bye, bye...
My quick read is that Marty was done with the on-site tour coverage, but didn't know it yet. Matthieu, with Clouseau-like bureaucratic efficiency, set in motion the 3 am "aha moment-of-clarity". Rather than grind this out in a state of ennui, Marty recognized where he wanted to be and promptly acted. Now he can focus on those things that matter, and perhaps kept him from going to the Tour earlier in the race, and we can ALL watch this Tour unfold over the next few days!
Sorry you quite the tour. The French are bureaucratic. It sounds like you are off to bigger and better things. Good luck. For us that just follow the tour, I have to say I am disappointed. It seems like you weren't into it this year.
Extreme sleep deprivation + Irish temperament (I’m half Harp, it’s a compliment) + honest writing - petit pompous thin skinned French bureaucrats. Yeah, it adds up, but damn we’re going to miss your prose that pulls back the curtain, and brings the TDF to life. I wish that Austin Murphy was there. One needs a friend to deal with French bureaucrats, who are the most insufferable a**holes in the world. A.S.O. is a huge corporate sports entity that rigidly controls the message with its publishing arm dominating French sports media. I emailed Matthieu this morning to protest your treatment. Messsage/media management is a major objective for sports organizations worldwide attempting to unsuccessfully control new media. Major universities around the US are hiring unemployed sport writers to present the official line, and counteract blogs and web sites.
I’m hoping that you will continue to post your reactions to the TDF. Now that you’ve been black balled, what’s the deal with Prudhomme and Hinault’s caustic comments regarding Lance, and why does A.S.O. treat Armstrong like the invisible man?
All the best and keep pushing.
Ray
SB-
Martin Dugard risked so much by going to the Tour and he knew how much it meant to his readers and himself. However, it is not his moral imperative to make certain people like you are entertained constantly. This is a phase of his life he was relieved to leave behind, so don't condemn him because your life is so boring and ordinary that you can't get on a plane yourself to experience the Tour. Martin, if you are listening, I wish you the best and I pray new opportunities will come your way.
- Vos Fuchs
P.S.
My previous post refers to the rest of you readers who do nothing but sit online - making insolent comments about others - from a small cubicle from 9 to 5, a position one of you mistakenly called a "real job".
Real workers are those who pursue their own destiny, which is exactly what Mr. Dugard did by leaving the Tour.
Thank you, Mr. Dugard.
"Vos Fuchs" - if you must know, I do not work in a "cubicle". My office is about 20x14. And my assistant's is another 10x10.
I can only imagine what it was like for Dugard when Matthieu pulled his little power play. Anyone here is frustrated & angry at what happened. And most of all, disappointed we can not SEE the Tour once again through Dugard's eyes. I happen to think he had an obligation to his readers to at least try. And that Martin Dugard gave up so easily to BUREAUCRATS is unfathomable to me. Lance's announced Comeback stunned me less.
Anyway, glad to read a comment from you again, Ray. Enjoyed it as always. (Well, except for your opinion of RR ;).
I too looked forward to reading missives by Marty on the TdF. Admittedly, I was surprised when you decided to go back this year. I really thought you were well and truly done, but figuredl, LA changed his mind with a slightly different agenda, so why not. You considered bringing your son, which would have added another generation's perspective, and the father -son dynamic. And yet nothing turned out like that....
Hmmmm. Sometimes the very part of your writing I used to enjoy (observing the historical and the immediate through the personal) has become, honestly, excuse me for saying this, banal. This feels less like a deep insightful "aha" moment than another "bad plan/indecisive/lack of insight into one's self" moment. How exactly does one get all the way to France before realizing it's the wrong place to be? You have thought about all of this a lot. Through many posts. For a couple of years. I am not angry. I am worried about you though.
Vos Fuchs -- for everything you said, touche' and high five!!
Marty -- onward to better things; it must have been meant to be this way. Someone else has probably already said this, but... "it is what it is!"
Cheers to all you other Marty fans...
Come on Marty, were you surprised Matthieu reads your work? Don't downplay - you're not writing in a closet are you? ; )
Certainly, things have evolved thru your hard work. And, in part, from the numbers provided by people hitting your site. Those "numbers" probably helped move you from site to site; column to column. There was even solicited feedback about material you had written for a book. You know, a sort of symbiotic relationship. These are the upsides.
The downside of this is expectations. And my own myopic expectation that you are forever linked to the Tour is quashed. And that's OK! To say farewell, I took a trail run wearing my Mammoth shirt today.
Hopefully your "adventure" remains the illuminating experience you say it was Marty.
Keep writing - all the best to you.
p.s. Ray! What a fantastic idea; emailing Matthieu! Power to the people. Hope you are in France again this summer.
(I'm a self employed person of 10 yrs, post-corporate years. And when I have to make a decision to change direction or elect to walk away from money, I only have myself and my family to answer to. There are no special forms or watercooler bitch sessions to hammer out how to deal with crabby co-workers. I only have me, my gut and the inside of my car from which to make these choices.)
The real problem for you Marty is that you wrote about Floyd Landis telling you about Lance's doping. The refusal came from him. Ho now owns a minority stake of the Tour de France- 49%. You are obviously on his blacklist.
Jessica,
Matthieu Desplats, Directeur du Department Media
mdesplats@aso.fr
I haven't received a response from Matthieu, nor do I expect one. I've probably joined Marty on A.S.O's persona non grata list, though I kept it positive, stressing Marty's unique writing that have inspired many to visit France and attend the TDF, and couched in the niceties that my diplomatic French wife provided. For a contrast check John Brand's reception, “We spend a month together, so it’s like a big family.” Matthieu
http://jonbrandwrites.com/2009/07/15/tour-transitions-part-ii-welcome-to-france/
John's a lacrosse guy, and provides some color, but lacks Marty's unique style.
Yes. I was in France for the first week, and attended the Montpellier TTT with my nephew and teenage nieces, who live in a small village outside of the city, and attend high school (lycee) in town. We bicycled the course the Sunday before, and it was more treacherous than the French media reported, always positive never negative re. TDF. LA provided an incredible buzz, and received a very warm reception from all the French fans. It is much easier getting around when escorted by two cute French girls. The TDF is incredibly well organized, and Astana was a machine that blew away the French. I didn't post this year, because I received some criticism last year, and it wasn't appropriate to hijack Marty's blog.
Hoping to see LA back at the TDF nest year.
All the best,
Ray
Very well crafted story. Topic aside, your writing is very quite good.