Laid my sweetie to rest on Friday. I hear there's war with Iran, gas prices are soaring, and March Madness is in full swing. But I've been in a different place these past three weeks since she passed. She's all I think about. I haven't practiced my guitar or worked on my Duolingo French. I walk. I run. I feed the dogs. Keep the house clean, always using Windex to clean the counters because she thought that was important. I'm not hungry often, which is a first. I'm careful with my alcohol because I don't want to become a cliche — that guy who loses his wife and goes off the deep end.
The goal of the funeral was to make it all about my Queen. I think myself, her sister Cate, and childhood friend Steve kept that in mind throughout. The pastor was great. There was a burial, which is a hard moment I steeled myself for. The reception at a local restaurant was packed and full of amazing friends. My boys offered testimonials, as did my brother-in-law, and some of Callie's friends. City Council member Brad McGirr, an old friend and fellow Springsteen diehard, read a proclamation in Calene's honor. My cross country teams showed up in force, all dressed in our blue team t-shirts. I have never received so many hugs in my life.
I temporarily forgot that I have a new book coming out in three weeks. Or that I'm flying to Minneapolis to see Springsteen next week with an old college buddy. Now it's time to get back in the game. I feel like I should train for a big fall race. I should definitely start writing again. Maybe plan some travel.
Calene and I lived a very full forty years together. She would kick my ass if I buried my head in the sand. The past four years and her cancer battle were more difficult than I realized until it all came to an end. She fought and endured, fought and endured, fought and endured.
So I look to the future, knowing she's with me still. There is a book to be publicized, teams to coach, a passport in need of a few more stamps. Real love is a man's salvation — and I certainly know what real love feels like.